Sunday, February 2, 2014

Living in Berlin x interview 20: a mother and the education for her children



賀蕾,來自中國長沙,住在柏林超過十年,目前是幸福的全職家庭主婦。
He Lei comes from Chángshā, China. She has lived in Berlin for over 10 years. Now she is a happy housewife.



為什麼來柏林?
Why did you move to Berlin?

我在北京工作並與先生在北京結婚定居,一切都很好,但是因為工作過於繁忙,所以先生並沒有太多時間可以陪小孩,後來經過許多討論,為了家庭的緣故,所以決定全家一起搬回柏林,辭去工作的以後,我就開始成為全職的家庭婦女。
I worked and got married in Beijing, and everything was fine. But the overload with work for my husband led to the result that he did not have enough time to spend with kids. Thus, after many times of discussion, we decided to move back to Berlin. I quitted my job and became a housewife.

喜歡柏林嗎?
Do you like Berlin?

喜歡啊。在這裡生活很舒服,雖然自己是外國人,但是這裡的包容性很強,你走在路上不太會被行注目禮,就算是我們住的這區比較少亞洲人,但是也不太會有德國人一直盯著你看。而且在這裡你可以感受得到,德國的開放,雖然大家常說柏林不是德國,或許是因為這裡更加開放吧。之前求學的時候曾經住在瑞士一年多,是一個很小的小鎮,我可能是那裡唯一一個亞洲人吧,所以對於保守和開放的風氣感受非常的深。
I like Berlin. It’s really comfortable to live here. Although I’m a foreigner, but the city has great tolerance. People won’t stare at you all the time, even we live in an area without many Asian. You can feel the liberty and open minded of Berlin. Though people always say, Berlin is not Germany. But I think it is because it is more open. As I was a student, I had lived in a small town in Switzerland for a year. It is really a small town, I was probably the only Asian there. Therefore, I can tell the difference between conservative and open. 

而且這裡有柏林基督華人教會,在教會的生活可以讓人生變得更豐富啊,我很感謝上帝為我們安排了一個教會,雖然教會不完美,但是當人定睛在上帝,一切的不完美都會變成祝福,變成恩典。當我現在回想過往的人生,一切都有上帝的保守在裡面。
Besides, I go to church. The life in the church makes my life more abundant, I thank God that he has prepared a church for us. Though church is never perfect, but when you only focus on God, all the imperfectness will trun into blessing, and then become grace. When I looked back in my life, God is always with me.


你可以聊聊你對小孩們的家庭教育是怎樣的嗎?
Can you talk about the home education?

還在北京的時候因為工作的緣故,接觸的人幾乎都是德國人,或是有德國配偶的人,在那個時候覺得給小孩全德文環境也不是什麼壞事,畢竟他們絕大部份之後都會在德國生活,但是來到柏林半年,我感受到了這樣不行,因為只是短短半年我的兩個孩子幾乎就不說中文了。他們雖然在這裡長大,但是你可以看得出來他們是混血兒,這和自我認同其實有很大的關係。我們從他們小時候就告訴他們,你們是混血兒,一半德國人,一半中國人。我希望他們不要忘記自己另外一半的血緣來自哪裡,一旦他們不說中文,不學中文,他們也就失去和另外一半的自己還有親戚的關係了。
When I was working in Beijing, I worked with German or people who have marriage with German. At that time, I did not see any problem that the children stay in an all German surrounding, because most of them will live in Germany sooner or later. But when we moved to Berlin for about 6 months, I found something wrong, my children didn’t speak Chinese anymore. Though they were grown up here, but you can see that they are multiracial, and it has a lot to do with the Self-concept. We told them since they were still young, that you are half-German and half-Chinese. I hope they won’t forget half of them are from China. Once they don’t speak Chinese or learn Chinese, they will lose the connection with half part of themselves.

所以在家中,我和他們說話一律說中文,小朋友是很聰明的,他們會自己切換不同的聲道和不同的人說話,所以和我說話他們說中文,和爸爸就說德文。
Thus, when we are home, I talk with both kids in Chinese, and they talk with their father in German. Kids are really smart, they will change the channel to different people.

那你覺得在德國跟在中國在教育上有什麼差別嗎?
Then, what is the different about education in China and in Germany?

在德國不論是做媽媽還是做孩子都應該比在中國要幸福許多,這裡提供可以和孩子一起待的圖書館,一起瘋的遊樂場,或是一起運動的游泳池等各樣的課外活動場所以及活動,沒有做不完的作業以及考試。在中國好像只有學校以及永遠做不完的功課。相對的,德國的家長和學校給孩子太多的自由和輕鬆,彷彿是怕累著了孩子們似的。若是能取之精華,棄之糟粕,這樣的合乎中道,應該就是智慧的教育孩子了吧。
I think, in Germany, parents and children alike lead their lives much more happily than their counterparts in China. Here provides many activities for whole family to participate. For example: libraries for family to read together, the playground to have fun, and space for different sports, such as swimming pools….. etc. Children don’t have countless homework and exams.  In China, the life of students are filled with school life and tons of assignments. However, I think that the schools and parents in Germany sometimes give children too much freedom and free time. It seems that they don’t want to make kids feel tired. The wise way for me to teach the kids is to take the essence discard the dregs from both countries.



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